Made Believe Bad Luck

Made Believe Bad Luck-  A Possible Perspective From A Dead Beat Dad.

Made Believe Bad Luck

Irene Justice

He’s my son, I should be able to do anything with him that I choose.  No one should tell me what to say or how to act.  If I want to do drugs, that’s my prerogative.  If I want to drink, I can, I’m of age.  I’m a good father because I pick up my son every other weekend.  Some parents don’t see their children at all. I don’t need to buy my son presents. My parents do it and basically that’s from me.  I want to work.  I always tell everyone that I can’t wait to have a good job.  These side jobs and factory jobs aren’t worth my time and I’m not going to let anyone talk to me in a disrespectful manner.  

My son’s mother and her new husband, take care of everything for our son, so, if I can’t find a job right away it’s no big deal.  They don’t really need my child support anyway.  

I enjoy smoking pot.  I don’t really want to do the other drugs, but they help me forget for a little while. Help me forget that my life isn’t as good as my son’s mothers.  I thought I was good to her.  I never lied to her.  Well, I only lied a little.  I talked to the other girls, because I was bored at home.  I had to lie about taking the money from our son’s piggy bank. What kind of father would I be, if I admitted to that?  

I want a better life.  I just have bad luck.  And my son’s mother just has really good luck.  It’s not fair.  I try and try and try.  Well, I could try harder sometimes, but most of the time, I try really hard.  I’m just waiting for my big break.  

My parents only helped my son’s mother because she didn’t have any of her own family to turn to.  They don’t really like her.  Well, I guess my mom does because she still calls her, her daughter even though it’s been 5 years since we broke up.  But what does my mother really know anyway.  My dad doesn’t like her, and it if it weren’t for me, she would’ve had nowhere to go.  I moved in with my mother so she could move in with him.  And since my dad helped her, I didn’t have to do as much.  My dad still helps her.  He helps her more than he helps me.  I mean yeah he gives me money for gas and cigarettes.  I do use the phone he pays for and drove the truck he pays for.  I crashed his truck though.  But then my mom was letting me use her car.  I crashed that too.  

My father doesn’t give her money like me, but he always buys stuff for my son.  I hear him on the phone with her sometimes, talking so politely.  I wouldn’t do that.  I would yell at her because that’s what she deserves.  She always makes my life miserable.  She makes me look like such a bad parent when I’m doing everything I can to be a good father.  I just have bad luck. I have 2 other kids too.  One is older but I don’t see him, because his mother won’t let me.  My younger son’s mother told me some made up story that my older son actually didn’t want to see me, but I don’t believe that. I was out of that boy’s life for the first 7 years of his life and when I came back he loved me.  

Everyone lies to me.  My daughters mother too.  My daughter just turned 1 and I’ve spent a couple of months with her, and then her mother left with her and won’t let me see her.  I’ve done nothing wrong to any of these women and I know my children want to see me, I’m their father.  As soon, as I get a job, everyone will believe I’m a good dad.  They all just want money from me anyway, once I’m able to give them some money they will listen to me.  One day they will all know that I’m a good father.  I just have really bad luck.