This Cruel Design Blog Tour and Giveaway!

 Reviews for This Cruel Design and This Mortal Coil!

This Cruel Design

by Emily Suvada

Publisher: Simon Pulse

Release Date: October 30, 2018

Genre: Young Adult -- Science Fiction

Goodreads Summary

Catarina Agatta is a hacker. She can cripple mainframes and crash through firewalls, but that’s not what makes her special. In Cat’s world, people are implanted with technology to recode their DNA, allowing them to change their bodies in any way they want. And Cat happens to be a gene-hacking genius.

That’s no surprise, since Cat’s father is Dr. Lachlan Agatta, a legendary geneticist who may be the last hope for defeating a plague that has brought humanity to the brink of extinction. But during the outbreak, Lachlan was kidnapped by a shadowy organization called Cartaxus, leaving Cat to survive the last two years on her own.

When a Cartaxus soldier, Cole, arrives with news that her father has been killed, Cat’s instincts tell her it’s just another Cartaxus lie. But Cole also brings a message: before Lachlan died, he managed to create a vaccine, and Cole needs Cat’s help to release it and save the human race.

Now Cat must decide who she can trust: The soldier with secrets of his own? The father who made her promise to hide from Cartaxus at all costs? In a world where nature itself can be rewritten, how much can she even trust herself? 

My Take

I was definitely a bit hesitant to try this one because it's another sci-fi about a virus and I just recently read one and loved it so I was hesitant to read another one so soon. However, I am extremely glad that I did! I think I'm really taking a liking to Sci-Fi!

Though there were a few slow parts but I don't think there were as many as some other reviewers may have thought. The characters were well developed and the emotions ran high. The main character Cat, is super likeable and I loved watching her grow and develop more throughout the story. I wasn't too happy that another story had a scientist father who isn't able to complete work and so the daughter needs to finish it, though. The story itself had a lot of action and a lot of emotion which is a perfect combination for a YA Sci-Fi.

 I got a little lost in the coding and Technology jargon; my mind doesn't work that way but it was still really neat to read about Cat experiencing these things. I don't think the romance was too heavy which also made it a much more engaging Sci-Fi. All in all I think readers that have more of an interest in science and technology will definitely enjoy This Mortal coil more, though I think it is a great book for all.

DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THIS MORTAL COIL

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

This Cruel Design

by Emily Suvada

Publisher: Simon Pulse

Release Date: October 30, 2018

Genre: Young Adult -- Science Fiction

Goodreads Summary

Cat thought the Hydra epidemic was over, but when new cases pop up, Cat must team up with an enemy to fix the vaccine before the virus spirals out of control in this thrilling sequel to This Mortal Coil, which New York Times bestselling author Amie Kaufman says “redefines ‘unputdownable.’”

The nightmare of the outbreak is finally over, but Cat’s fight has only just begun.

Exhausted, wounded, and reeling from revelations that have shaken her to her core, Cat is at a breaking point. Camped in the woods with Cole and Leoben, she’s working day and night, desperate to find a way to stop Lachlan’s plan to reprogram humanity. But she’s failing—Cat can’t even control her newly regrown panel, and try as she might to ignore them, she keeps seeing glitching visions from her past everywhere she turns.

When news arrives that the Hydra virus might not be as dead as they’d thought, the group is pushed into an uneasy alliance with Cartaxus to hunt down Lachlan and fix the vaccine. Their search takes them to Entropia, a city of genehackers hidden deep in the desert that could also hold the answers about Cat’s past that she’s been searching for.

But when confronted with lies and betrayals, Cat is forced to question everything she knows and everyone she trusts. And while Lachlan is always two steps ahead, the biggest threat to Cat may be the secrets buried in her own mind.

My Take

This Cruel Design starts off right where This Mortal Coil ends. I love that everybody is together and recuperating from everything that had happened before and now they're getting ready to set out to see if they can find Lachlan. I was immediately immersed back into their world and taken on another action packed adventure. 

The pacing of the first book was great but the pacing of the second book is excellent.  I'm not dragged around listening to the same story for too long but also not rushed into the technological elements too quickly. I love that the old characters are still with us but also some new ones are added.  Anna quickly became a favorite. I always seem to like characters that are meant for people to dislike.

I think this cruel design had even more plot twists and the gene technology was even more elaborate then in the first book. I also really enjoyed the diversity added for characters to manipulate their gender using the technology that Suvada created.  This book spoke about acceptance even if that wasn't its main purpose and a lot of people, myself included will appreciate that.  I knew that I would love This Cruel Design even more than the first and I was right!! I can't wait for the next book! 

About the Author

Emily Suvada was born and raised in Australia, where she went on to study mathematics and astrophysics. She previously worked as a data scientist, and still spends hours writing algorithms to perform tasks which would only take minutes to complete on her own. When not writing, she can be found hiking, cycling, and conducting chemistry experiments in her kitchen. She currently lives in Portland, OR, with her husband.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/emilysuvada

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emily.suvada/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emilysuvada

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/emilysuvada/

Website: http://www.emilysuvada.com/

TOUR SCHEDULE

http://fantasticflyingbookclub.blogspot.com/2018/09/tour-schedule-this-cruel-design-by.html 

GIVEAWAY

Prize: 2 copies of This Cruel Design by Emily Suvada (USA only)

Starts: 10/22/18

Ends:  10/31/18

Rafflecopter Giveaway

BOOK LINKS

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38316465-this-cruel-design

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2zNUucW

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/this-cruel-design-emily-suvada/1127922693#/

Book Depository: https://www.bookdepository.com/This-Cruel-Design-Emily-Suvada/9781481496360

Light Years by Emily Ziff Griffin

ABOUT THE BOOK:

Light Years

by Emily Ziff Griffin

Publisher: Simon Pulse

Release Date: September 5th, 2017

Genre: Young Adult

Synopsis:

As a mysterious virus infects the world’s population, a girl embarks on a quest to find a cure in this thrilling debut from Emily Ziff Griffin.

Luisa is ready for her life to start. Five minutes ago. And she could be on her way, as her extraordinary coding skills have landed her a finalist spot for a fellowship sponsored by Thomas Bell, the world’s most brilliant and mercurial tech entrepreneur. Being chosen means funding, mentorship, and most importantly, freedom from her overbearing mother. Maybe Lu will even figure out how to control the rare condition that plagues her: whenever her emotions run high, her physical senses kick into overload, with waves of color, sound, taste, and touch flooding her body.

But Luisa’s life is thrust into chaos as a deadly virus sweeps across the globe, killing thousands and sending her father into quarantine. When Lu receives a cryptic message from someone who might hold the key to stopping the epidemic, she knows she must do something to save her family—and the world.

Suspenseful, lyrical, and thought-provoking, Light Years features a remarkable heroine on an intensely physical and emotional quest for hope and existential meaning.

My Thoughts:  

I was beyond excited to receive an advanced copy of this book for review!  The synopsis of this book was very inviting for a fan of dystopian novels.  I knew this was going to be not only a fun read but an intense one.  I have to admit that at times, it may have been a little too intense though for some fans of YA.  

I say that because of the language.  Griffin has a way with words that makes you sit back and think while your reading, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  However, the cursing, especially in the beginning of the book just seemed unnecessary.  I supposed cursing seems to be incorporated into more and more YA but I am definitely not a fan, especially of the F word.  Luckily, the cursing seems to dissipate as the story progresses. 

Letting this go, I was able to move forward and enjoy the story and the character development of our main character Louisa.  I loved this character.  I loved that she has a Spanish heritage, I loved that she seemed to have a neurological condition that is rare, though I do wish it would have been named.  Some type of sensory disorder definitely, and I think there would be a lot of people with different types of sensory disorders that can relate very easily to this character.   I think Lu's character is very grown for her age, and rightfully so, considering the pandemic the world is facing, but as I read, I loss track that she is indeed, just a 17 year old girl.  

Lu's love interest, Kamal is a fantastic character.  I imagined him to be the tall, dark, rugged, handsome British, Arabic, that he is.  Exactly as Griffin had intended him to be.  I loved the diversity in this book. I wasn't too fond of Lu's brother though.  Where in moments he seemed to be brave and protective, other times, I found him to be annoying.  Maybe I was supposed to feel this way.  

Also, I feel that I need to add that there were quite a few religious references throughout the story.  However, instead of just one religion, there were many.  Christianity, Hinduism and Islam. I think Griffin is a genius for weaving all of this into the book.  A true and intense handle for many to grab a hold of in the instance that the plot of this story were to come to fruition. 

Light Years is a remarkable debut for Griffin.  I felt like the story was real and raw and that it hits close to home for a lot of us. The ending definitely had me guessing, which I still have mixed feelings about so I won't go into too much detail there.  All I can end with, is that I hope Griffin writes again soon!  

My Favorite Quotes:

"The world is everyone's oyster, if they step up to crack it open."

"We are born of love, love is our mother.  I read that on a teabag."

"You know a single image being a true record of anything is an impossible idea, right?"

"We are united by the surreal pain of existing in a life that is still familiar but indelibly altered by loss."

"Religion and spirit are two very different things,"  she says. "You have a spirit.  Therefore the Bible is our story.  Read it like a childhood favorite and God will find is way to you."

"Like the sun, like the oceans, this land does not need us.  It will soak in the rain. It will freeze over in winter, then thaw again in spring. Like an orphaned child, it will manage to survive on its own.  But unlike me, it won't know the difference."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Emily Ziff Griffin lives in LA where she writes, produces, teaches, daydreams, and mothers two young kids. When she was 25, she co-founded Cooper’s Town Productions with Philip Seymour Hoffman and produced the Academy Award-winning film, ‘Capote,’ along with Hoffman’s directorial debut ‘Jack Goes Boating,’ and John Slattery’s ‘God’s Pocket.’ She's run three marathons, slowly, and holds a degree from Brown University in art-semiotics, the study of how images make meaning. She believes children are way more sophisticated than adults typically give them credit for and writes for the teenager who is ready to claim their own worldview and be grounded in their own power. ‘Light Years’ is her first novel. Find her at www.emilyziffgriffin.com.

Links:

Website- https://emilyziffgriffin.com

Goodreads- https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7275770.Emily_Ziff_Griffin

Twitter- https://twitter.com/emilyziff

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/emilyziffgriffin/

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/emilyziffgriffin/

A Hallmark Original!

Review of Sunrise Cabin by Stacey Donovan 

The sunrise cabin was the sweetest novel for me to read this September! Paige Reynolds is a first grade teacher who lives in a beautiful cabin that fills her with joy and inspiration every day. Unfortunately her landlord decides to sell and Paige has to try to buy the cabin for herself.

Dylan, the very attractive businessman, who can have anything he wants decides that he wants this cabin as well. While both Paige and Dylan take the time that is needed to learn about one another and try to understand why each other wants the cabin so badly, they discover there's a lot more to each other than what meets the eye and a hopeful spark between the two ignites. Giving me every bit of the fall romance that I was craving.

This is the first Hallmark novel that I have read and I was not disappointed.  The fact that it was an original Hallmark novel made it feel even more special to me.  I had the chance to read the story first, then at some point, because I know it will be made, I’ll watch the movie! I loved the writing style that the author chose for this book, I was able to really be a part of both main character’s lives and relate to each of them more personally.

There was a lot of humor, flirtation, and friendly banter from Paige and Dylan and I couldn’t have asked for a better leading pair.  Family and friends, even the landlord himself offered wisdom and comic relief, as well as heartfelt moments that truly tied this story together.

I think that all romance fans will love this Hallmark original. It's based around the fall season so we get all the vibes of autumn with the color changing trees, the celebration of Halloween and so much more. The Hallmarkian and romantic in me was completely satisfied with Sunrise cabin and I cannot wait for the next novel by Stacey Donovan!

 About the Author

Stacey Donovan grew up in central Illinois, earned her MFA in Creative Writing at the University of Arizona in Tucson, and was a Master Writer at Hallmark in Kansas City, where she wrote several gift books and children’s books. She now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their three rescue dogs. A true optimist, she loves stories with happy endings, random acts of kindness, and adventures big and small. You can connect with her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Donovanesque.

FAWKES by Nadine Brandes Tour and International Giveaway!

Fawkes

by Nadine Brandes

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Release Date: July 10, 2018

Genre: Young Adult, Fanasy, Historical Fiction

Synopsis:

Thomas Fawkes is turning to stone, and the only cure to the Stone Plague is to join his father’s plot to assassinate the king of England.

Silent wars leave the most carnage. The wars that are never declared, but are carried out in dark alleys with masks and hidden knives. Wars where color power alters the natural rhythm of 17th century London. And when the king calls for peace, no one listens until he finally calls for death.

But what if death finds him first?

Keepers think the Igniters caused the plague. Igniters think the Keepers did. But all Thomas knows is that the Stone Plague infecting his eye is spreading. And if he doesn’t do something soon, he’ll be a lifeless statue. So when his Keeper father, Guy Fawkes, invites him to join the Gunpowder Plot—claiming it will put an end to the plague—Thomas is in.

The plan: use 36 barrels of gunpowder to blow up the Igniter King.

The problem: Doing so will destroy the family of the girl Thomas loves. But backing out of the plot will send his father and the other plotters to the gallows. To save one, Thomas will lose the other.

No matter Thomas’s choice, one thing is clear: once the decision is made and the color masks have been put on, there’s no turning back.

 My Thoughts:

From the very first chapter Fawkes had me hooked and that doesn’t happen a lot.  The world building created by Brandes was incredible and she painted the picture so vividly that I felt like I was watching the story unfold in my mind.  Where others may have thought the story to start slow, I felt drawn in and immediately immersed into the story and its characters. 

I usually feel a close connection to the MC of any story I read and Fawkes was no exception.  Thomas was designed to be flawed.  Though he was plagued, he pushed forward, not letting it cripple him.  He stands as a strong willed and determined protagonist that will not settle until the truth is uncovered.  Man, do I love books like this!  The hunt is on for the truth and Thomas is relentless.  The setting in 17^th century London was perfection and Nadine did that time period justice, from describing London’s weather to the mannerisms of the town’s people. 

The rich history on Guy Fawkes made my history-loving heart beat harder and I immediately wanted to do more research once finished Fawkes.  I knew nothing about the Gunpowder plot until reading this book!  When a historical fiction lights a fire like that, I know it was a five star read for sure! 

The magic of the story was a whole other fantastical element of the book.  I’ll be honest and admit that I was a bit apprehensive about the magic because “color power” didn’t seem that unique or impressive, at least not compared to ancient magic or witchcraft and wizardry or Greek mythology but let me say, I STAND CORRECTED!  The way Brandes depicts this magic is new and fresh and exquisitely woven into the story.  It couldn’t have been more intricately thought out!  I was completely blown away!  Seriously guys, I think I have a new mentor for writing whether Nadine realizes this or not!  Haha

With a hell of a lot of fantastical and magical chapters, family ties, whispered revolutions and a slow burning romance, Fawkes is my favorite read of the year! 

 TOUR SCHEDULE

Blog tour schedule link: http://fantasticflyingbookclub.blogspot.com/2018/08/tour-schedule-fawkes-by-nadine-brandes.html

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nadine Brandes once spent four days as a sea cook in the name of book research. She is the author of the award-winning Out of Time Series and her inner fangirl perks up at the mention of soul-talk, Quidditch, bookstagram, and Oreos. When she's not busy writing novels about bold living, she's adventuring through Middle Earth or taste-testing a new chai. She and her Auror husband plan to live in a Tiny House on wheels. Current mission: paint the world in shalom.

BOOK LINKS

•       Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36576048-fawkes

•       Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0785217142//ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ll1&tag=thequ03-20&linkId=53e59379a81c5b24f91938952bc34555

•       Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fawkes-nadine-brandes/1127480853#/

•       Book Depository: https://www.bookdepository.com/Fawkes-Nadine-Brandes/9780785217145?a_aid=nadinebrandes

•       Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/fawkes

•       IndieBound: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780785217145

•       iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/fawkes/id1312670880?mt=11

GIVEAWAY

•       Prize: 1 copy of FAWKES by Nadine Brandes

•       INT!!!

•       Starts: 8/19

•       Ends:  9/6

Direct Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/d9681b86317/?

A Vote of Confidence by Irene Justice A Short Story

A Vote of Confidence

By Irene Justice

Prompt: "It's not you, it's me."

“It’s nothing personal,” he mumbled.  “It’s not you, it’s me” he threw in there, and then turned to laugh with his buddies.  Why did I have to like him so much?  Why did I have to listen to Laura and drink the liquid courage to go up to Miguel and ask him out?  His dark cornrows were absolutely perfectly braided back and his smile was as pearly white as ever, that’s why.  I had been in love with him since he first came to our high school last year, late in the senior year, another reason why.  He and I both went to our local university and signed up for the same Civics class, yet another reason why.  Why did he have to be my crush and why did I have to ruin my freshman year in college by asking him out, when I obviously was not his type?   “Hey, Jane?” he asked, after I had turned away in humiliation.  “This doesn’t affect our friendship though, right?  You’re still going to help me with my Civics paper, right?”

            “Oh of course and forget I said anything.” The sad part was I really did want to stay friends with him.  Even after I turned back to keep walking, and I could hear Miguel and his buddies continuing to laugh.  I knew I was better than this.  I knew I deserved better than this.  I kept walking to the back of the restaurant towards the table that Laura and I had been sitting at, where she was still waiting.  Thank God it was out of Miguel’s sight. Nonetheless, as soon as I sat down and slid into the booth, I dropped my head into my arms; my dry, naturally ugly and wavy, chestnut hair fell around my face. 

            “Oh Jane, I’m sorry.  How bad was it?” she whispered.

            I lifted my head up with a crease in my eyebrows and my eyes filled with water.  My bottom lip slowly quivered just enough to let Laura know that if I talked about it, the waterworks would surely come. 

            “Jane don’t worry about that loser!  You deserve so much better than him.  Sure, he’s tall, dark, and damn fine…” she started.

“Laura!” I interrupted.  “Not helping here.” I finished in a whispered, drained voice.

            “I’m the worst friend ever.  Jane don’t worry about him, you totally missed out on a bad egg if you ask me.  If this is how he treats someone who has helped him with multiple papers, study for quizzes, and even asks her to give up her best friend as a project buddy to partner with him, then I don’t even want to know what kind of boyfriend he would’ve been to you.” She spewed.

            “Yeah” I said breathlessly.  “You’re right, I know you are.  It’s just, it’s just that the first time I have ever been brave enough to ask a guy out, ever, not only does he say no, he basically laughed in my face.” I stated. “I don’t think I can ever do that again, Laura. That seriously killed me, and I have to still see him Friday at his house for his paper.” I added.

            “Wait, what? You’re still going to help him? Are you nuts? Jane! You cannot let that man laugh at you in front of his friends, and then still be ridiculous enough to go and help with, I mean basically do, his paper for him!” She yelled.  I was pretty sure the whole restaurant had heard this part of our conversation.  I held my breath, eyes wide in disbelief and got up to peer around the corner wall.  Thank goodness Miguel and his friends had left.  I didn’t think this situation could have gotten any worse. 

~

            Of course that was before Friday night came and it was nearing 7:00 p.m. and I had to head over to Miguel’s house.  I pulled up in front of his house and turned off the ignition.  It was a humid night in July, one of the worst this month and I decided to wear a dress to cool down, which I normally didn’t do. I wore a rather fitting black dress but kept my gray and white Converse on to dial it back down.  I was by no means in the mood to feel sexy and my messy bun and glasses told anyone that.  I knocked on the large red door and could see through the side windows that someone was coming. I stood up and straightened my head so it didn’t look like I was snooping.

            “Ah Jane. How are you tonight, little lady?” Miguel’s dad inquired.  He was handsome for an older man, his gray hair only showing on the side of dark hair and only a little. 

            “I’m well Mr. Daniels, thank you.” I said smiling as I slid my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

He did his best Denzel voice when he invited me in, “Good, good.  Now you have a seat right here and I’ll go get that dumbfounded boy of mine.”  He smiled a half quirky smile, trying to imitate Denzel even further.

            “Thank you, Mr. Daniels. Your impressions get better and better every time.”  I said sweetly, hopefully believable.  Mr. Daniels was the best, always trying to make me smile.  He left me in the living room, where there were pictures of Miguel everywhere; Miguel with his football team, Miguel with his football trophies, Miguel catching a hike during a football game.  I’ve seen these pictures one too many times and could tell anyone exactly what color shirts Miguel was wearing in each of them, and what his number was on his football jersey. It was 13, by the way; Miguel always liked 13 because most people were scared of it.  Finally, after a few minutes of sitting awkwardly on the corner cushion of the black leather couch, Miguel came up from the basement. 

            “Oh, hey… Jane.  Man, I feel like an ass right now, because I completely forgot that we were supposed to get together tonight for that paper.  I should’ve texted you, but I got so um, swept away… in the book I was reading.” He stuttered a bit, glancing down at the carpet and not maintaining eye contact. 

            “Oh no worries, what book?” I asked earnestly.  He had never mentioned reading a book before.  I immediately imagined him reading Jane Eyre or Jane Austen, fulfilling the fantasy of reading the classics together, sitting by a fireplace with a soft flannel blanket draped across the both of us but then I came back from my day dream as I realized this was Miguel I was talking to and he was most definitely lying.

            “Oh um, well, I guess it was more like an article not an actual book.” he continued.  “You’d be surprised what kinds of intelligent things are on Facebook.” he said surely, confident in his ability to read a full article on Facebook.  “It was about how this one school didn’t have a football team and this kid, I can’t remember his name, started a petition and got the whole town to sign it, in order to get a football team for the school and he raised the money they needed for all of the equipment and stuff.”  Of course there were some articles on Facebook or any social media platform that held real merit or factual evidence but this, coming from Miguel, I suppose was an important issue, at least it was to him.

            “Yeah of course, there’s a lot on there, on Facebook I mean.”  I replied, hoping I didn’t sound arrogant.  I really was impressed that he read anything at all.  During our study lessons, he refused to read anything at all, always had an excuse.  He stood there on the other side of the room with his hands in the pockets of his black shorts, his white t-shirt highlighting his upper chest and triceps and then I noticed him pursing his lips and glancing around the room and then back at me as if he were waiting for something else. Duh!  He wanted me to leave now, of course he did.  “Oh, I’m sorry.”  I got up, the skin from my thighs peeling off of the furniture, making an embarrassing sound, my eye went wide and I hoped he wouldn’t make this situation any worse than it already was for me.  “Ok, should we reschedule then?” I asked, not wanting to reschedule at all.  He started but was cut short when we both heard the crash.  He didn’t move.  He stared right at me, squinting, trying to figure out whether I heard the sound as well.  Then I heard laughter from the basement, too - He definitely had friends over. Reading an article, right.

            “So, I was thinking maybe you could do like a rough draft of the paper for me, like before, and then I can really get a good idea on how to write this paper on equality?  I really want to do justice to this assignment, ya know?” he slyly asked, nodding his head in a yes motion, which somehow hypnotized me into nodding yes, too. “You really are so smart and I know with your help I’ll really nail this assignment.  Again, I’m sorry about tonight though.  Maybe we can get together Monday after school to go over the draft.  Alright, I’ll see you Monday?  Thanks Jane, you’re the best.”  He said, rushing his explanation so he could turn on his heels and run back down the basement stairs, this time I could hear him shushing the kids but unable to stifle his own laughter as well.  I even heard a kid ask as I walked to the front door “And she said yes?  Oh man Miguel, she’s got it bad for you!” and they all started laughing again as I pulled the door closed behind me, stepping out into the humid, empty darkness of this July night.

            Why was I so lame?  Why did I have to be such a dork and have no spine at all?  I hated myself in this moment.  I really did.  My eyes burned again and I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying… again and headed towards my car.  I put my key in the ignition and turned it, ready to go home, but fate wasn’t having it; the car didn’t start. 

“Why have you abandoned me?!” I yelled asking to no one and nothing in particular. I got of my car and turned to face it. I kicked it. Nothing happened other than my big toe went a little numb.  I lived 10 minutes driving to Miguel’s house, so the walk back would take about 30 maybe, and then I would still have to figure out how to get my car out from in front of his house before Miguel or his friends came outside.  I could imagine them now, “Damn, Miguel! You’ve got her wrapped!”  “She’s a stalker!” “Miguel, get a restraining order!”  I had to get my car out of here. 

            I called my dad and of course got no answer.  It was a Friday night and he and my step-mom were out doing karaoke for sure.  I called Laura to see if her dad could help too, and nothing.  I glanced up at the big red door.  It stood out more now from the street than standing up close and in front of it.  The porch light lit the door with a yellow hue, which seemed to make it more of a blood orange red, rather than a fresh strawberry.  I thought of the red balloon from Stephen King’s “It”, then.  I thought of my death if I were I to go back up to the door and ask Mr. Daniels if he could help. He was a good man - Not only would he help me, but he would make Miguel come up and help me, too.  No, I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t sign my own death certificate, just starting my first year of college.  I should’ve never come here.  I should’ve never asked Miguel out.  There’s a lot of things I regret in this moment.

            I pulled out my phone and did what I thought any normal girl my age, in my situation, would do; I YouTube’d how to start my 1999 Chevrolet Cobalt when the ignition wouldn’t start. I got back in the car and skimmed through a few videos, starting them and then stopping when the person would ramble too much about pointless nonsense.  YouTube was great when the person got to the point, being a free site and all.  I finally got to the part of making sure the wires were connected to the battery the way they should be, according to Matt who was a 55 year old mechanic. I got out and lifted the hood of my car, strands of my hair falling from the makeshift bun I had fixed right before leaving the house.  I pushed my glasses up my nose again and used my phone as a flash light.  I noticed one of the wires loose just like Matt had indicated and tightened it with a small toolkit my dad had put in my trunk. 

            “Thank you dad,” I whispered to the night sky, my only companion in all of this torment.

            “Hmm,” a man’s voice startled me, and I jumped, hitting my head on the hood of the car.  I reached up, rubbing the Everest-sized bump beginning to form.  “Jeeze, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”  He said and I turned to see the voice materialize into a man.  This guy was around my age, maybe a few years older, with brown hair and a light stubble, and smiled at me, maybe pitying me, but I couldn’t really be sure. I had had just about enough embarrassment for one night.

            His red flannel shirt, moved with the breeze opening to show off his plain grey t-shirt underneath.  He looked so laid back with his worn, tan messenger bag strap laid diagonally across his chest, dark blue jeans and flip flops.  I met his dark brown eyes, as he slowly stepped towards me, holding out his hand for me to shake.  He smiled then, a devilishly handsome smile, reminding me of one of the protagonists of The Wild Montana Rescue series written by Susan May Warren that I was recommended earlier this year.  I felt heat rise to my cheeks and I tried to glance away, but felt my gaze drawn back to those metallic gray eyes and I found it nearly impossible to look away.

“I’d offer you some help, but it kind of looks like you know exactly what you’re doing.”  He said, stepping back.  He brought his hand up to his eyebrow, seemingly trying to think of what to say or how to say it.  “Listen, do you maybe want to come out with me tonight?  I know you don’t know me, my name’s Ben by the way,”  he added with a dorky but cute wave, “but I mean if you’d like, I’m heading to, well I’m actually heading to a reading of an author I’ve never read before.”  He stood confident and steadfast and was so interested in me.  This was unexpected for sure.  I had come here originally to do Miguel’s paper for him, and hoped that I would get to sit next to him and smell his sweet cologne that he always had on and instead I stood out front of Miguel’s house, fixing my own car, and talking to a handsome stranger.

My mouth started to open and I was ready to answer when a door opened and laughter fell out of the house behind me.  I turned to see Miguel and his two buddies from the diner earlier, come stumbling down the steps, along with a couple of girls that I had seen at school, though I didn’t know their names.  They stopped laughing once they reached the end of the sidewalk and spotted me with the hood up on my car and me standing with my red oil rag, crunched up in between my pale fingers.  Miguel’s eyes went past me to Ben’s and he nodded and then looked back to me.

“Jane, are you ok?” he asked, “Do you need any help?” truly seeming concerned.

“I don’t, thanks.”  I gestured back to Ben who was now behind me and to the left a little, “Ben actually walked up right as I finished up.”  Miguel seemed unimpressed but nodded anyway. 

“Jane I was just saying to the guys, that you should come and hang with us tonight.  Right, Mark? Ty?  C’mon we can talk about stuff at the diner over some steaks.”  He genuinely seemed to want me to come with him, but why?  Why now?  He blew me off only a little while ago in his living room, making fun of my desperation with his friends before I was even able to make it fully out of his house.  Why now did he want me to come out with him?  He glanced at Ben again whom, I couldn’t believe was still standing there behind me. 

“Jane, I should probably…” Ben started and I turned quickly and smiled.

“Right, I’m right behind you. Let me just make sure she’s good to go.”  I saw Ben’s face immediately light up and my heart filled with excitement and I almost couldn’t hold the butterflies that were fluttering around in my stomach.  I got in, said a quick prayer, turned the key, and my car started.  I smiled and looked up and whispered, “Thank you”.  I got out, closed the hood and gave a thumbs-up to Ben, who smiled and winked at me, then went to get in and start his truck.  I looked back over to Miguel, who seemed to be in shock that I just ignored him.  I smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and started to get back into my car, until he yelled out to me.

“Jane, you don’t even know him.  It’s me you asked out, remember?” he asked taken aback by my sudden lack of self-esteem.  I thought about it for only a moment longer and then set my jaw and raised my two hands slightly off the car door and roof, and slid into my seat.  I leaned over the passenger seat as I slowly pulled up in front of the group.

“I’m sorry Miguel, but you implied you weren’t interested and Ben seems to be, so...  It’s nothing personal you know.  Oh, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I’ll probably be busy Monday after school too.  I guess you’ll have to do your own assignment this time.”  I watched as Miguel’s mouth opened and his friends all stared with bewildered looks on their faces.  I smiled and pulled out from the sidewalk to make a U-turn, wheels slightly squealing as I turned and then beeped and waved at Miguel and his friends.  With my head clear and my heart pounding, I followed Ben down the street, into a night full of possibilities.